In The Name Of Love - Lost & Found

Dear Miyaki,

This one is for you, my beloved pet and our very first baby. Thank you for letting me hold on you for 5 years. Throughout these 1825 days, there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you, I miss you so badly that I almost lost myself. It is also you that made me a mother first, but fate took you away once I've become a mother of my first child. You know what, I didn't cry at all on the day you were gone forever, I told myself we're not done yet, I was in delusion.I was truly lost and empty without you.I felt so guilty I wasn't there with you at the end. I swallow my guilt every day and this guilt grows into something that's eating me alive, my life, my health and eventually my self. Mama wants to say goodbye now, but that doesn't mean I will ever forget about you. I'll carry you in my heart, your bouncy prances on the sidewalk, your wild run on the grassy field, your exciting look before mealtime and a lot more... These are all the things that I want to remember about you. I want to remember the happiness you brought into our lives, the wonderful moments we spent together all those years. That's all that I can do for you now. I miss you so much, I'm sure you know that, I truly believes you are being cared for and will be waiting in the heaven to spend an eternity with me and God.

Please forgive me. For the first time I'll be saying this to you, my dear baby Miyaki, may you rest in peace. Mama loves you with all my heart and soul, and you'll always have a special place in my heart.




Hugs & Kisses,
Mama Bev

In the Name Of Love - A Long Preface

Hello again,

I've been thinking to do this for quite some time, but never want to commit to anything until I can swing with the grove of my dynamic lifestyle. Gratefully speaking, now that I can, I can finally manage more bites on my plate and I'm seeing this as a more efficient way to convey my feelings and thoughts to my closest ones--my families and friends in M'sia or maybe some new friends that I'll eventually meet down this road. Voice travels faster than words I supposed, especially in our fast-paced world today. As much as I hope I can have the luxury of time to just sit and enjoy reading a 200-pages book, I simply can't. Sadly, there are too many priorities that we, as a grown-up and mature adult, have to fulfill before attending to our own needs. All the mothers in the universe, you sure feel me. Self-reflection and self-awareness take time. Hence I make the voice clips again, I hope you will find it handy.

The birth of this new series help me reflect my role as a person, a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend and most importantly, they guide me redefine my own priorities and my relationships with my loved ones. We all understand that love is the answer to all the tough questions in life, we know that love is so strong that it can remove any barrier for almost everything. We all know. But how many of us could possibly have the capacity to love again after getting hurt for a hundred billion times? I'm a positive person, my humdrum life or hectic motherhood doesn't quite change that precious side of me, but I lost the purpose and the ability to love again. Each and every day, we can be making memories but also accumulating scars, consciously or unconsciously, voluntarily or involuntarily. Throughout this journey of researching myself, I regain the capacity to love, the ability that God once equipped me with.

It has been a fun and wonderful journey, I can't wait to invite you to be part of this. And this time, I'll be chatting with you in Mandarin. (Why? Because my 5-year-old can't understand a single word of Cantonese yet she wants to listen or be part of this)

Hope you enjoy listening to this! See you ❤






**My Very Lame Focus Group Experience**
My baby sis and my bff are one the of the few that will receive the audio files before everyone gets to hear it. They often encourage me with their blunt honesty, thank you :p


#1 是亲妹妹无误～


#2 My bff... 妳知道的太多了，敬你一杯, lol...

Love you guys, thank you for being the air mattress for me to land on whenever I decided to pretend I can fly and save the world from insainty. I am the luckiest one, always.




Hugs,
Beverly

Beverly's Voice #12 - The Last Episode

The song that I chose for this episode is my all time fave; I used to play this song in my car every day, let it blare out repeatedly while on the way to school, in Portland lah of course. Somehow I find comfort in it, perhaps it's its beautiful lyric that caught me. It gives me strength, courage and often reminds me of the naive & innocent person that I used to be; it helps me get through the most difficult and miserable time in my life, especially when I first resided in this unfamiliar place.

I'm sure I'll shriek with laughter when I listen to all these voice clips again after 10 years, and I'll definitely do so, maybe on my birthday again, my 21 birthday which is 10 years from now (Hahahaha, I'm forever 21 ok).

So ya, BV has come to an end. It has been such a wonderful and divine journey for me; it is the most memorable and best gift I've ever presented myself. However, it couldn't have been this awesome without your loves and supports.

Thanks again, BV fans.



Take care,
Bev

Beverly's Voice #11 - Dream VS Ambition

Neh neh neh neh neh neh, ya, I lied, no Miyaki piccies still. But I have something better to share, something we all have been anticipating all these while.



Yeah~~ BV is back ❤❤
11 down and one more to go~~
That means this is the second last voice clip, I'm aiming to finish this series by the end of September ;)

Cherish it and enjoy to the fullest ❤❤



Hugs,
Bev

Beverly's Voice #10 - True Love Never Runs Smooth

I'm literally taking blogging to a whole new level now; I'm using my 10 mins break to B.L.O.G, yup, in class. Cool beyond belief.


** Click H.E.R.E for a better quality voice clip


The dairy that I mentioned on BV #10.

If you are a huge fans of Kimura Takuya like me, the following picture takes zero second to refresh you about the legendary Japanese drama series that were once super duper popular.


A gift Chean gave me last Dec, out of a heart-attack surprise! I'll tell you the story behind this crystal apple later ^______^

Enjoy~~



XOXO,
Bev

Beverly's Voice #9 - Sakura in Spring

Thought to share the new BV earlier cause my schedule might be fully occupied by assignments and classes tomorrow.

Enjoy!



Click H.E.R.E for a better quality voice clip.


Took this beautiful shot last week while strolling with Chean & Miyaki.


Can you feel the joy too? ❤❤

Beverly's Voice #8 - To My Dearest Brother

This is not just another new voice clip, it's also the follow-up of Beverly's Voice #6 - Mission Possible.


Thoroughly bruised in Hawaii...

As you see, there's no way for me to accomplish my initial Mission Possible plan in Hawaii so I gave myself a new one, which is this voice clip that you are going to hear right N.O.W ^____^



(For a better quality voice clip, click H.E.R.E)

I wish I have some childhood pictures to show you and to make this voice clip less insipid. Unfortunately none of them are not with me now, will post them here next time T____T

Now back to you, what's your Mission Possible? (Or maybe just me talking to myself all the time, C.R.E.E.P. @.@)

Beverly's Voice #7 - The Password

Miss Beverly's Voice, miss you guys, miss all the fun we had together!

Have a great weekend! Live life to the F.U.L.L.E.S.T ❤❤



For a better quality voice clip, click H.E.R.E

BV on hold

Hi everyone,

Thanks for stopping by even when I was unwilling to update very often. Again, I'm blogging with iPhone and my long nails but at Honolulu Airport instead of Waikiki. Yeah, time flies especially good time. Although I can't enjoy my vacation to the fullest, I'm still grateful for everything, at least I made it to the Hanauma Bay and Pearl Harbor ^_____^

I know, I miss BS and BV too. I feel extremely awful to inform you all that this week BV is going to be on hold. As you all know, I'm sick. Apart from the stomach flu, I'm now officially attack by sore throat, flu and dry cough. I can't even imagine how am I going to survive on this six hours overnight flight to Portland. It's going to be deadly insane!!!

But I'm a responsible and thoughtful person, I'm gonna wear a mask! A note to frequent flyers, wear a mask while on board if you're not feeling well, be kind to others especially those are weak and fragile, like me.

Alright, gonna stop nagging, ready to on board in 10 mins. Promise to blog more A.L.O.H.A. stuffs next time. See you guys in Portland.

Beverly's Voice #6 - Mission Possible

Ok,I have a guest at my house now, sitting right next to me and we are heading out in 5 mins. Will come back to blog more later~~

Talk to you soon!!!

*******************************

I'm back from Portland Community College (PCC). Apparently, I wanted to register for a Japanese language class but at last, I didn't.

Not because of the tuition fee (PCC tuition is super C.H.E.A.P. compare to my MBA school) but the Japanese language class is kinda informal and conversational. I need a formal one instead, will keep looking @.@

Ok, now back to the voice clip. Sorry about the image on the video, I have no idea why that happened, I did what I do usually. Anyway, I'm not going to fix it right now.

I have more important things to do!!! Gonna pack my luggage, dye my hair, do my nails, exercise a little bit, walk Miyaki and make a delicious dinner for Chean.

Oh ya, regarding my mission possible, I'm gonna do it in Hawaii and will report to you guys later. Just stayed tuned.

Hawaii, one of my dream places. Say you J.E.A.L.O.U.S.!!!

Woo Hoo~~
Woooo Hoooo~~
Woooooo Hooooo~~

p/s: Youtube sucks. For a better quality voice clip, click H.E.R.E.

Beverly's Voice #5 - Just Because I Love To

Everyone has a secret box, deep inside the heart, far away from sight; only Y.O.U., your true self has the key.

That's why I can't stop loving Beverly's Secret (BS), this is my secret garden, a place I created solely for happiness.

But the difference is that everyone now has the key, to get a taste of the happiness in life.

Enjoy! Have a wonderful weekend ❤❤

Beverly's Voice #4 - To Pressure

Stressssssful T____T Super busy with my final! It's like the super final paper for my final project. Stressful enough to kill myself :'(

But this voice clip has a spell on me. I've listen to it more than a zillion times (not more than The 8th Valentine's Day of course, that's classic :p)!

It's a truly magical reminder to myself to always look at the bright side and to be a bit more zen about the whole inexplicable pressure during this nerve-wracking period.

Take a deep breath...

Deeper...

Now, say goodbye to pressure and never ever let anything bring you down again! Start celebrating and live life to the fullest.

Enjoy~~

Beverly's Voice #3 - The 8th Valentine's Day

To create a better flow, you should listen to the voice clip below before reading any further. Trust me, you'll appreciate the photos more after the voice clip.



Listen first, read later.


Now it's time for the " A picture speaks a thousand word" session.


Posing with my first Valentine's gift, a very bear-ry comforter set from Chean in year 2003 when I was 19, Chean was 23.

Yup, that was me in the picture. I don't blame you if you think I underwent plastic surgery.


Our last trip at Genting before Chean left Malaysia. I was 19, Chean was 23 that time.


Taken with our close friends at KLIA right on the day Chean left to U.S. in 2003.


Spotted crying while Chean approached to the departure gate in 2003.


In 2005, visited Chean in Miami for the first time. Photo taken at Disney World, Orlando.


In 2009, both of us settled in in States finally, with an extra member called Miyaki.

To all lovers, true love never runs smooth, keep holding on and you'll taste the happiness in near future.



Cherish,
Bev

Birthday Bash - Part 1

5th Feb, 2010 - Friday

Apparently, I was facing a complete emotional meltdown that day. I don't know why I had the notion of no one cares about my birthday anymore. I know, I was stupid. I even foolishly turned down Chean's invitation.

Seriously, I don't know what had gotten into me @.@

Chean, properly the last perfect man on earth that can stand my lame thinking, was willing to drag me out of my bed to get dressed.

"It's your big day and it only happens once in a year, savor it!" He said.


You're right, Chean! It's my Birthday, let's celebrate! Hooray~~


Chean and I planned to bet on a seafood restaurant, Five Spice that we never tried before.


Eureka! Look at the foods! The best bet indeed ^^


Who cares about high cholesterol when you see these big juicy scallops laying in front of you? I don't think anyone will, except vegans.


No celebration is perfect without a toss! Yuuuummmmm Sheeeeennggggg~~ (Cheers, in Cantonese)

Stay tuned for the rest and allow me time to do so ^^

*************************************

How's your Chinese New Year (CNY) celebration? You know what, you guys are really awesome (I truly can't think of any adjective other than A.W.E.S.O.M.E.)!

I have no idea how you manage to visit my blog even on this big celebration. I also have no idea how to repay your time, your attention and your support.

Then I thought perhaps it'll be pretty "awarding" if I make a bonus CNY voice clip for you all (not sure whether it's awarding or suffering, but I always look on the bright side).



Don't just stay in front of the screen. It's Chinese New Year and it only happens once in a year, savor it!

Gong Xi Fatt Cai ❤❤

Beverly's Voice #2 - Doraemon's Dorayaki

Hello everyone!!!

Let me guess, you must be busy msn-ing, sms-ing or facebook-ing to update your status and tell the world the exact time you are about to reach your home town.

Or maybe you just did the Thank-God-It's-Friday expression while peeping your watch for the n times today.

We all know, everyone knows, we need to be home! The sooner the better.

Maybe it isn't that bad after all although you are still stuck in the office or still away from home (like me). At least it's Friday now, and it is...

Thank-God-it's-Beverly's-Voice-day (◕^^◕)

Enjoy!!!

**Below is just an audio clip, no visual included. ^^




In case the audio clip does not work, try the youtube instead! I prefer the audio clip than youtube actually, it projects better sound quality ^^




P/S: Wanna thank you everyone who adores my voice clip, love you for listening!!! Wish you all have a prosperous, blissful and superb year ahead! Happy Chinese New Year~~ Gong Xi Fa Cai~~

Happy Birthday To Me

Phewwww...
It's finally here, after working on this virtual present to myself for about 4 hours!

Right now, with a mix feeling of anxiety, excited and exhausted, I'm proud to present you the grand opening of Beverly's Voice!

Yup, you are going to H.E.A.R. me speak, just one click away! Warn you first, it's not in English, I'm serious.

I do speak Cantonese. Don't believe me? Try and see.

Enjoy (◕^^◕)

**Below is just an audio clip, no visual included. ^^



Lastly...

Happy Birthday to me :D