In The Name Of Love - Lost & Found

Dear Miyaki,

This one is for you, my beloved pet and our very first baby. Thank you for letting me hold on you for 5 years. Throughout these 1825 days, there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you, I miss you so badly that I almost lost myself. It is also you that made me a mother first, but fate took you away once I've become a mother of my first child. You know what, I didn't cry at all on the day you were gone forever, I told myself we're not done yet, I was in delusion.I was truly lost and empty without you.I felt so guilty I wasn't there with you at the end. I swallow my guilt every day and this guilt grows into something that's eating me alive, my life, my health and eventually my self. Mama wants to say goodbye now, but that doesn't mean I will ever forget about you. I'll carry you in my heart, your bouncy prances on the sidewalk, your wild run on the grassy field, your exciting look before mealtime and a lot more... These are all the things that I want to remember about you. I want to remember the happiness you brought into our lives, the wonderful moments we spent together all those years. That's all that I can do for you now. I miss you so much, I'm sure you know that, I truly believes you are being cared for and will be waiting in the heaven to spend an eternity with me and God.

Please forgive me. For the first time I'll be saying this to you, my dear baby Miyaki, may you rest in peace. Mama loves you with all my heart and soul, and you'll always have a special place in my heart.




Hugs & Kisses,
Mama Bev

Faturday

The worst feeling ever is seeing the numbers on the weighing scale substantially increase everyday yet you can't do a thing about it (T____T) It's truly not an exaggeration to say that my last trimester is a constant battle against sugar addiction and late-night craving...


#1 Chean whatsapped me, asking which one I'd like to get... I wasn't famished and just planned to get a tiny fruit tart but this pic made me drool...


#2 Ended up getting the H.U.G.E one and I finished everything in 2 days. Unbelievable @.@


#3 I've ran out of clothes I can fit into, no longer enjoy camwhoring...


#4 And Chean's face is a lot slimmer than me, hate that!!!


#5 Yet I'm still feeding myself like there's no tomorrow; that's handcrafted root beer btw. At BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse.


#6 Turkey Burger. Crazy portion.


#7 Cajun Pasta. Huge portion but I manage to clean the plate, this has never ever happened in my entire life before, crazy me!


#8 Dim Sum Time at Star Kitchen. Super packed & crowded that day @.@ We come here almost every weekend ever since I got pregnant, now all the staff recognize us and even call Chean "Dai Lou," lol. Why ah? No idea.


#9 We ordered a lot and this is just 1/3 of it. Lazy to take pics eh.


#10 Egg tartssssss! Fresh from the oven! That's the reason why I come here so often. Y.U.M!


#11 Then on the same day... After stuffing myself with all these high carbs dim sum dishes, I continued to indulge myself with snacks & biscuits at home. What has gotten into me? Zero self-control.

S.I.G.H. One side story to share. Apparently I was thinking about getting a new spec the other day, so Chean accompanied me to check out some local eyeglasses stores. I tried a lot yet nothing stood out, got a little upset and desperate but you know what, Chean suddenly wised up and suggested me to leave the spec-hunting idea aside...

"You know what, your face is quite rounded now, it's impossible to pick a frame that will suit you perfectly," He said in calm voice.

Truth hurts!!!! (T_______T)

And he is so dang right, I can't argue with that at all.


Whatever. I'm almost there... home stretch to the finish line of 10 months pregnancy! Although I seem to complain a lot about the uncontrollable weight gain, forgetfulness, or clumsiness, I do enjoy being preggie and being able to act as capricious and unreasonable as I like, hahaha...

Keep rocking, Mama Bev & Bao Bao (◍⁃͈ᴗ•͈)४४४♡*

*************** Miyaki & His Mellow Days ***************

#12 Strained his muscles a little after a long walk in the park, poor baby.


#13 Soaking up the sun on the balcony.


#14 Always a baby...


#15 Playing with his new pal~~

So grateful to have him around, Miyaki is simply irreplaceable! Mummy loves you the same!



XOXO,
Bev

Baby Business

Posting this to keep you all posted about my pregnancy process with BB. By the way, BB stands for Bao Bao (宝宝, baby in Chinese), have been calling her Bao Bao all these while ;)


#1 Still having lots of fun with Miyaki and preparing him to welcome our BB.

We won't abandon or neglect him; the responsibilities of pet ownership and parents-to-be do not create any conflicts; he is already part of the family. Remember? He has Chean's last name too, we have enough love for him~~


#2 I think he hears two heartbeats in me and sometimes that freaks him out, lol.


#3 29 to 30 week. Hooray to last trimester! My mum & OB doc said walking is one the best forms of exercise that will help me stay fit & healthy while striving through the pregnancy. And I strongly A.G.R.E.E ^_____^V

Some random shots, taken while walking Miyaki yesterday.


#4


#5


#6 Action-nya, Si Manja!!!



** Baby Business **

Attended a sententious and pompous 30-minute presentation at St. Joseph Hospital last weekend and I thought you all might be interested to know about the birth experience in the States. Oh ya, we picked St. Jo as our BB first & temporary nesting place when she is ready to greet the world (Read H.E.R.E if you wanna know more about the hospital's amenities & facilities).

Btw, that was just a brief pre-registration session, mostly touched on basic knowledge of legal paper works like birth cert, insurance policies, State Laws, hospital's core values, beliefs and practices; we have other baby & prenatal classes lining up for the next coming weekends. Will share with you all later on.


#4 A warm & sun-soaked morning.


#5 Signs of Spring ❤❤


#6 Love small group! That always makes the Q&A session more productive & satisfying :p


#7 Chean's grabbing a seat while I was busy gathering pamphlets and brochures.


#8 Glanced over & familiarized ourselves with Colorado birth certificate. Hmm... Never knew mum's education background is relevant, interesting ;)

Some slides that I thought you'd love to read too...


#9


#10

Here, a little piece of advice, and I usually don't do this but I think we all should really do, not just me, but all future mums-to-be a favor: Do not ignorantly influence or forcefully instill others about your beliefs and values; everyone is different as the old saying goes, one man's meat is another's poison.

As soon as I made the pregnancy announcement in Feb, many have sent me emails & messages trying to "educate" me about the "right" birth plans and newborn procedures, inviting me to Mama groups as well as filling my brain with overloaded information. At the beginning, I was elated by the amount of care, attention & concern that I received; however, all these have eventually turned into a knotty situation.

Ok, to be frank, genuine suggestions are always welcome, but sometimes people could get really harsh and tyrannical, like they are right about everything even when they never meet me or barely know anything about me @.@ And to an extreme extent, I left with no choice but to ignore those annoying and irritating messages. I have those messages flying in almost E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y and I'm just a little lazy to explain & repeat myself over and over again. So hopefully this post will make myself clear.

Sorry for being rude, but truthfully speaking, having the experience of childbirth doesn't make you a seen-that-been-there expert or turning you into a semi-pro OB doc. Sharing is totally fine but at the same time, we should realize that oftentimes our suggestions & opinions were made solely based on our personal experiences or stories we heard, they are generally biased. And biased and unjustified recommendations won't do anybody any good.

So be nice, be liberal, be considerate, be rational and be respectful...

I believe, all mums/parents want to give their babies the best that they could, and I believe they have the wisdom, the knowledge and the right to decide what works the best for them and their babies, too.

After all, I think all mums-to-be just want a joyful, peaceful and stress-free pregnancy & delivery, and most importantly a healthy baby and a happy family. You think?



Best Regards,
Bev

Last Saturday

#1 Ready for an action-packed day!

** Thanks for loving my hair. My hair is naturally straight, no straightener/flat iron needed, just good shampoo & conditioner ^__^V


#2 Dropped Miyaki aka fluffy ball to pet salon. B.E.F.O.R.E.


#3 A.F.T.E.R.


#4 He looks like a lamb to me now, you think? o(^▽^)o


#5 Super manja & poodle-like~~


#6 We went brunching at Brasserie Ten Ten again, also took a stroll at Boulder downtown while waiting for Miyaki.


#7


#8


#9


#10 Sunny & warm.


#11 Stopped by a fun store at Pearl Street.


#12 Guli, marble balls, bring back so many precious childhood memories. Btw, do you think they kinda look like candies?


#13 Toying with tortoise puppet.


#14 Autograph, anyone? :p


#15 Tin toys. We have some at home too, cool collection.


#16 你睇，叮噹來啦! I need to hire a hitman, where is my BB gun? LOL...

** Ok, a confession to make, I was the one who forced him to wear the cap :p


#17 Super afraid of frog and lizard but this matches my outfit, hehe.


#18 A plethora of colorful kites, pretty touristy but really is a cool place for gifts & souvenirs.



** Boulder Community Hospital **

Then, the next stop--Boulder Community Hospital, exactly, another hospital tour! This hospital is not affiliate with my OB, but it's the closest one to our house, so in case my water breaks or any emergency (touch wood) arises and we can't make it to Denver, this hospital will be our Plan C. Yup, Plan C.


#19


#20 The labor room. The nurse's demonstrating the use of labor bed...


#21 And the squatting bar can be adapted to the bed as well... Super eye-opening.


#22 Tools are available to ease labor pain. Mums-to-be are free to walk around, and to do anything relaxing, yup, even with the fetal heart rate and uterine contractions monitor on (They have the wireless monitor too). Also, iPod player, DVD, wifi are also available.

** St. Joseph & St. Luke offer the same amenities and facilities too; these 3 hospitals pretty much share the same standard ;)


#23 The temporary monitor room for cesareans.


#24 The recovery room.


#25 The bathroom in the recovery room.


#26 A brief Q&A session about Epidural & pain relief options with anesthesiologist. Very rewarding and insightful!


#27 Despite his crazy workload, Chean never miss a single OB visit; in fact, he is the one planning, researching & registering for all the hospital tours & classes.

I think, it's important to have the partner fully participate & engage in the whole process, so the mum-to-be won't have too much on her plate and ables to enjoy her pregnancy. Thus, Chean & I both agreed to divide-and-conquer different tasks and responsibilities at the very beginning in order to support and to lead each other throughout this life-changing experience. This simple approach not only strengthens our bond by bringing us closer, but it also allows us to grow together as life-time soul-mates, partners, and most of all, parents-to-be. Effective communication is the key and teamwork pays off way better than we anticipated ^___^V

Everything has been working pretty well and we are definitely counting our blessings every day, it's so much fun learning & riding through this awesome journey with you together, Chean (=´∀｀)人(´∀｀=)

Aza aza fighting, first-time parents!



Best,
Bev